u didn't realize how much u've hurt me... do you ?
i've cried non stop yesterday night.
my eyes were practically red, swollen and tired.
history that doesn't get into mind...instead the pictures i'd taken with you came into my mind...
flash backs and images of where u and me just knew each other came around.
how i wish we that we could turn back the time.
back to where i was so fond of u...that i could smile just by thinking ur face or writing ur name....back to those times where we cuddle around together watching movie...where i would hug u whenever i sees u...where i would hold ur hands whenever i'd the chance.
yea, i did read ur blog. and it worsen my mood.
it seems like i m not being a supportive enough girlfriend after all...
i m getting so easily emotional that i cried once again today.
yesterday was our first anniversary...
yes, i hope that we could celebrate it somewhere else and not staying up in the saloon for the whole day....
but even if we can't i hope that u could at least do something to cheer me up ?
i didn't care that much on where we'll have to celebrate it....
but it's our first year after all....
at least, it meant A LOT to me.
i hardly last that long with any guy...and u were my first.
it's special for me and needless to say, it's meaningful...to the extend that i wanted to create some memorable memories for both of us...
not a cold war, a day filled with unwanted tears, blamings and arguements.
i got so fed up of stuff. and yes, i m mad.
i am a girl too u know....at times, i ought to hope that u could just read my mind....
be more romantic... doesn't need me to say everything.
even something simple like a voluntary hug or even sharing a passionate kiss ?
i hope that u could just do that without needing me to remind u or tell u u noe....
if i did reminded u...all these seems pointless and meaningless isn't it ??
i admit i am a very bad tempered person and due to my childhood, i don't express myself well...
sometimes, i just hit u to let go of the hatred i had or even the hope that i used to put on u.
i knew that sooner or later things would have to change. but at least, give me the time....
at least i would have the attempt to try it...
i was always waiting for ur calls or need not, at least a sms.
but nevertheless, it just never came.
hours and hours i used to stare at my phone waiting for single msg for u....
but u just never find me....
it came to the extend where i have to go online, sign in my msn n wait for u....
is it that difficult to make the first move ?
and i m shameless enough to beg that that u would find me in my heart....when i couldn't hold on any longer i came to the extend to phone u up myself and u never picked up....
i got even madder when u said u were on phone with ur friend all these while talking bout ur birthday....
did u know how hard those word struck me at first ?
we're like in the middle of fight and u told me u had friends planning ur birthday celebration for u...
and thats the reason why i can't call u ? why i didn't get my replies and why i'd stared down at my cold phone for hours.
i just wanted a day that belongs to u n me....
i'd waited for u to finish ur job at saloon...i'd waited for u to get home....
i hope that at least by that time we're being cooled down...
so i can spend the rest of the day with u ....i didn't even wanna waste a single second of it...
but little did i know....i'd waited n waited....and it's already 11 plus...and yet....not a single word from u...my phone was cold as ever,
now i understands what does it meant like by time and tide waits for no man.
i hid at a corner silently sobbing to myself....afraid of being heard by anyone in the house....
i hid my face by turning my back over to my babysitter because i m afraid that she'll ask me why i cried ??
i m afraid that she'll start to backstab u once again....telling me that we're not meant for each other.
i can't sleep well that night. and i went to school with my puffy swollen eyes.
i m tired. i m really very tired.
i don't know how to face u again....
tomorrow is ur birthday....but i just can't get the courage to see u again....i don't know how should i react
my long prepared present for u was starring at me as if mocking me.
i wanted to celebrate ur birthday with u...i didn't want this to continue...but i just dunno how....
i just want u to know, after all, i still love you.
i've cried non stop yesterday night.
my eyes were practically red, swollen and tired.
history that doesn't get into mind...instead the pictures i'd taken with you came into my mind...
flash backs and images of where u and me just knew each other came around.
how i wish we that we could turn back the time.
back to where i was so fond of u...that i could smile just by thinking ur face or writing ur name....back to those times where we cuddle around together watching movie...where i would hug u whenever i sees u...where i would hold ur hands whenever i'd the chance.
yea, i did read ur blog. and it worsen my mood.
it seems like i m not being a supportive enough girlfriend after all...
i m getting so easily emotional that i cried once again today.
yesterday was our first anniversary...
yes, i hope that we could celebrate it somewhere else and not staying up in the saloon for the whole day....
but even if we can't i hope that u could at least do something to cheer me up ?
i didn't care that much on where we'll have to celebrate it....
but it's our first year after all....
at least, it meant A LOT to me.
i hardly last that long with any guy...and u were my first.
it's special for me and needless to say, it's meaningful...to the extend that i wanted to create some memorable memories for both of us...
not a cold war, a day filled with unwanted tears, blamings and arguements.
i got so fed up of stuff. and yes, i m mad.
i am a girl too u know....at times, i ought to hope that u could just read my mind....
be more romantic... doesn't need me to say everything.
even something simple like a voluntary hug or even sharing a passionate kiss ?
i hope that u could just do that without needing me to remind u or tell u u noe....
if i did reminded u...all these seems pointless and meaningless isn't it ??
i admit i am a very bad tempered person and due to my childhood, i don't express myself well...
sometimes, i just hit u to let go of the hatred i had or even the hope that i used to put on u.
i knew that sooner or later things would have to change. but at least, give me the time....
at least i would have the attempt to try it...
i was always waiting for ur calls or need not, at least a sms.
but nevertheless, it just never came.
hours and hours i used to stare at my phone waiting for single msg for u....
but u just never find me....
it came to the extend where i have to go online, sign in my msn n wait for u....
is it that difficult to make the first move ?
and i m shameless enough to beg that that u would find me in my heart....when i couldn't hold on any longer i came to the extend to phone u up myself and u never picked up....
i got even madder when u said u were on phone with ur friend all these while talking bout ur birthday....
did u know how hard those word struck me at first ?
we're like in the middle of fight and u told me u had friends planning ur birthday celebration for u...
and thats the reason why i can't call u ? why i didn't get my replies and why i'd stared down at my cold phone for hours.
i just wanted a day that belongs to u n me....
i'd waited for u to finish ur job at saloon...i'd waited for u to get home....
i hope that at least by that time we're being cooled down...
so i can spend the rest of the day with u ....i didn't even wanna waste a single second of it...
but little did i know....i'd waited n waited....and it's already 11 plus...and yet....not a single word from u...my phone was cold as ever,
now i understands what does it meant like by time and tide waits for no man.
i hid at a corner silently sobbing to myself....afraid of being heard by anyone in the house....
i hid my face by turning my back over to my babysitter because i m afraid that she'll ask me why i cried ??
i m afraid that she'll start to backstab u once again....telling me that we're not meant for each other.
i can't sleep well that night. and i went to school with my puffy swollen eyes.
i m tired. i m really very tired.
i don't know how to face u again....
tomorrow is ur birthday....but i just can't get the courage to see u again....i don't know how should i react
my long prepared present for u was starring at me as if mocking me.
i wanted to celebrate ur birthday with u...i didn't want this to continue...but i just dunno how....
i just want u to know, after all, i still love you.
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